investing on street weaponry

The times are hard. And the MMDA is not helping. Whaddafuck is with all those pink deathtraps? I walk from the MRT north ave station to BLISS every night and that is really one hell of a trap. If someone attempts to mug me (or anyone) there, there virtually is no escape.

Last year, (it was the time of Lent), I lost my phone in a bus. Pretty good move by the thugs. Even after I managed to hold the one who pilfered my phone from my loose pants, I suddenly found myself surrounded by four burly fellows and probably some seated others as well. So what happened was... I let him go, and didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to my poor phone.

Well, actually, when confronted by thugs, the safest (and smartest) option is to give your valuables quickly, but if you're feeling muscular, there's always fighting. So here's a list of some weapons you can carry:

brass knuckles-- these babies are called "asero" on the streets. one hit to the face and you're smashed, clean hit or not. trouble is, it's illegal, and you might get arrested for simply having it with you. so the technique is to throw it away after hitting someone.

nunchuks-- bruce lee style! huwaaaaa! tricky to use. could take a while of training. chances are you'll be hitting your obliques and forehead with this thing if you're not an adept. very legal though, but pretty bulky, and difficult to conceal.

tear gas-- spray it on the face of your attacker, then run like hell. quite expensive. but totally worth it.

electric shocker thingie-- i forgot what it's really called. even more expensive. but quite exhilirating to use. nothing like some high voltage attack.

29-- also called balisong or butterfly knife. very flashy if you know how to flip it about. the hard part is to stick it into someone's chest (or eyeball). might cause some emotional damage if you're not used to killing people.

truck stud-- my weapon of choice. concealable, legal, and easy to use. the only set back is that you still have to use your muscles (a lot) to use it. what you do is hold it in your fist. that's it. it makes your punches a little heavier.

next stop, i'll be listing the stuff muggers just might use on you.

Completing Rurouni Kenshin's OST

For more than four years I have been looking for two tracks I've heard from Samurai X. I've gotten all of the vocal tracks I'm interested in when I bought the "Rurouni Kenshin Best Collection" at Comic Alley SM North with my first ever College allowance.

I was almost satisfied (or ready to give up) when I got the fighting tracks (Warrior's Suite) used in RK battle scenes. I also got the sad solos (Starless and Departure). Basically there was only two songs I really wanted to have left. The theme when there was something funny happening (usually in the Kamiya Dojo), and the theme that plays before a major Shishio encounter.

The sad part was that since there was no way of knowing the titles of the songs, and the fact that they're only known to really hardcore fans, they were quite hard to find.

Then I stumbled upon this 580mb chunk of file in BitTorrent. It said "Rurouni Kenshin Complete." Needless to say, I clicked on the link and spent three days downloading.
50%... Hurry up, damn it! I say.

78%... And it just suddenly stopped. I can't even begin to explain the chagrin that registered on my face with that thought.

I restarted and then it started downloading again.

85% at 15Kbps, not bad, the success of the download was almost assured.

99%.... The combined excitement and anticipation's killing me.

100%!!! It's done.

I quickly transferred them to my own terminal and started labeling the tracks. Most of the mp3s had long filenames and was truncated when I transferred them to a Macintosh. Plus all the tags have to be checked.

With trembling hands, I checked the files. Everything's there! Apparently the funny scene theme was Demo ne! Honto wa ne! something I'd never would have guessed. While the battle anticipation music is the later part of a longer track entitled The Last Wolf Suite.

And it's all there. I paused for a moment. I mentally crossed out an item in my "Things to do before I die" list. Another quest fulfilled.

Undersexed

I've just learned that pandas only have sex twice a year. Considering that I got it from a quote of a Chinese novelist, I'm not sure I want to believe it. And then, sex facts came rushing to my head. I remembered the thing about pigs' orgasms reaching up to 30 minutes. Now, that's quite long for a mind-numbing, toe-curling experience, I must say. On the other hand, it's a bit sad too, since besides humans, dolphins are the only mammals who are supposed to feel enjoyment during sex.

Another anecdote rushed to my head. It's an "elementary days" flashback. The teacher was saying something about the termite colony. (Why? I can't remember..) Thing was, the lesson learned for the day was that in the colony, the queen termite's only job, or more aptly put, reason for existence is to get knocked up and produce baby termites. Of course, since she cannot get knocked up by herself, she needs a "king termite," whose only purpose in life is to fuck her to the end of their days... Ah the joys of a simple life. Oh wait, as for the anecdote, the teacher asked the boys of the class who wants to be a "king termite" and a courageous boy raised his hand. He was known as King Termite ever since.

As for me, I'm not getting any... Ah, dolphins, termites, and other colony based insects have everything.

*interested "queen termites" can contact the author*

Awed by professional stupidity

As some "published" people keep bragging about, you don't actually need a degree in journalism to be a good writer. But you still need some IQ if you actually want to write. Trouble is, contributors and columnists do not get in the pages of newspapers because they're good. Rather, it's usually a) they know the publisher/ editor/ whatever, b) they're popular, or c) they paid the newspaper to get them printed.

Sad enough, these idiots actually get paid to write their crap. Take Philippine Star's Baby Gil for example. One time she did a review on Avril Lavigne (disclaimer: I absolutely believe that Avril is just another pretentious punk who can't sing and can't play). Baby Gil raved about how angsty Avril is, how good a performer she is, and how she is the Alanis Morisette of our time. Heck, Avril? The Alanis of our time?!

And often, since Gil's opinions (are never wrong, whoever made that stupid adage...) are usually baseless, her comparisons are even worse. Her review on Greenday's American Idiot praised the punk band by comparing their "lyrics" to that of Usher's.

Generation gap does have its effects... But another PhilStar columnist, whose name I cannot remember (and I probably shouldn't) did a review of the PC game Call of Duty. I'm only basing his age by his mugshot and, I'm guessing there's no generation gap whatsoever. He wrote his review as if it was the first FPS (first person shooter) he ever played. He was actually raving about Call of Duty's features that have been a basic in that technology since Half-life 1.

Another broadsheet reviewer that deserves space in this write-up would be BusinessWorld's Doy Ariola. While his writing can sometimes be good, witty at times, he's mostly a guy who does not understand what he just saw. Then he proceeds on lambasting the movie he barely understood. For one, he said The Bourne Supremacy was "a de-glamorized James Bond," and requested a Constantine sequel "with more brains," as if he had enough brains to understand it in the first place. And I quote, "The movie suggests The X-Files and CSI with a dash of The Seventh Sign with Constantine and his sidekick, Angie, trying to find out who murdered her twin sister. If you enjoy watching goody-two-shoe mortals battling demons in Charmed, Buffy and Angel, then Constantine will be your cup of tea." Jesus Christ! I say, That's not what fucking happened! He and a fellow film critic, graze the pages every weekend. The older (and higher-paid) critic rarely appreciates movies and keeps on making impossible comparisons, like say, Incredibles versus Spirited Away. Most of the time though, he keeps on hating films because they are not in the leagues of Battleship Potemkin or The Bicycle Thief.

Anyway, since I read the BusinessWorld for a living, I am frequently unfortunate to encounter these idiots. Call it bitterness, call it whatever fuck you blokes can conjure.

There was once this Internet Gaming article written by a BW Senior Reporter and he actually, described Dungeons and Dragons to be a game "where players get to choose their own adventure." I edited it out of course, fuckin' idiot should at least know the difference between a board game and a choose-your-own-adventure. In any case, this Senior Reporter is BW's self-proclaimed tech-dude. He also said something about a game being so beautifully 3D, it was like watching anime. Is it not common knowledge that animes are cel-shaded and not 3D?!

Some of the idiotic blunders are actually hilariously funny. (Like the time when I forgot the "L" in the word health, making a headline read: Official on leave due to HEATH reasons.) An artsy-fartsy columnist once wrote something about the weirdness of today's music groups, so ridiculous they are called Savage Garden, Backstreet Boys, and ALANIS MORISSETTE. An unknown writer even mentioned "Marvel's Batman."

Bottomline, feature writing for newspapers and magazines is not like writing in your journal. Well, since reviews are their opinions in the matter, it's never wrong I suppose, just plain stupid. And you can't blame people for being stupid.