The Perez Pe Benito Pickle Jar
Good and attractive women love falling for jerks/guys who look bad.
Yeah sure, girls will deny this. But see for yourself. Walk around the mall a bit. In a few minutes a really pretty girl will come your way. And that pretty girl has a dog with her. Oh wait, the dog has a really pretty girl with him. Silly me for not noticing soon.(This theory might work for guys too, but I really don't care)
Now, why? Why is it so? Here's a true story from a friend. A few years back, we interviewed a female friend on what she's looking for in a guy, what she wants for the future, yabadah, yabadah, the kind of thing you only talk about in the influence of alcohol (or something much stronger, like say, crack).
To which she replied, "I dunno, smart, probably, maybe a doctor or something. Tall, good-looking, kind thoughtful... A future with a house on the meadow, white picket fences..." And of course, we responded, "Awwwww.."
A few weeks later, she introduced us to her boyfriend. Someone she described as "Mas guwapo kaysa sa mabait." The first time I saw the guy I wanted to splash him with holy water. If he looked better than he was nice... then this guy is the devil himself. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, the girlfriend ranked the guy at 5-6. We totally agree. He definitely looks like two 2.5s put together with cheap glue. IQ-wise, the guy was err, let's just say he's not that smart. All right, all right, I was being too harsh, in fact he probably has an IQ of 25.
Doctor eh? Tall and good-looking eh?
Truth is, I realized there actually are sure-fire techniques if you want to "snag yourself a hottie" even when you dont have the looks or the brains. Two I can name offhand. The first is be filthy rich. If that's not your case, then the second one might be easier. It takes a little more effort, and a great deal of concentration.
Here it is...
Be really, really mysterious.
I'm not saying be seemingly gay, just be make the girl think you're not interested in any woman. In worse cases that you're stuck up in a world of your own, and that you really don't want to be sociable. It takes years of practice to master this technique.
Whoever thought of this first is a genius. Sure, girls frown at the idea of guys trying to do something crazy like you know, conquering the unconquerable (read: climbing Mount Everest). But the truth is, girls are into that kind of thing too. Only on a different level.
Fellow researcher Philip and I call this phenomenon, The Perez Pe Benito Pickle Jar. (Some guys at time management research thought they were witty when they used the Pickle Jar to name their theory as well, bastards) The idea of course is, to be the really hard-to-open-pickle-jar that you are. Don't open up, brood, brood, brood, scowl, scowl, scowl. A female will try to open you in no time.
It takes experience to learn the pickle jar craft, and some guys are naturally good at it, while some are not. Word of advice though, do not open so soon when some chick tries to open you. What you do is open a little, make her think she's doing it, then close again. Be the real you (an asshole). Then open up again. Boom, she's caught in the trap.
For guys who cannot master this technique, there's always technique number one, be filthy rich.
Yeah sure, girls will deny this. But see for yourself. Walk around the mall a bit. In a few minutes a really pretty girl will come your way. And that pretty girl has a dog with her. Oh wait, the dog has a really pretty girl with him. Silly me for not noticing soon.(This theory might work for guys too, but I really don't care)
Now, why? Why is it so? Here's a true story from a friend. A few years back, we interviewed a female friend on what she's looking for in a guy, what she wants for the future, yabadah, yabadah, the kind of thing you only talk about in the influence of alcohol (or something much stronger, like say, crack).
To which she replied, "I dunno, smart, probably, maybe a doctor or something. Tall, good-looking, kind thoughtful... A future with a house on the meadow, white picket fences..." And of course, we responded, "Awwwww.."
A few weeks later, she introduced us to her boyfriend. Someone she described as "Mas guwapo kaysa sa mabait." The first time I saw the guy I wanted to splash him with holy water. If he looked better than he was nice... then this guy is the devil himself. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, the girlfriend ranked the guy at 5-6. We totally agree. He definitely looks like two 2.5s put together with cheap glue. IQ-wise, the guy was err, let's just say he's not that smart. All right, all right, I was being too harsh, in fact he probably has an IQ of 25.
Doctor eh? Tall and good-looking eh?
Truth is, I realized there actually are sure-fire techniques if you want to "snag yourself a hottie" even when you dont have the looks or the brains. Two I can name offhand. The first is be filthy rich. If that's not your case, then the second one might be easier. It takes a little more effort, and a great deal of concentration.
Here it is...
Be really, really mysterious.
I'm not saying be seemingly gay, just be make the girl think you're not interested in any woman. In worse cases that you're stuck up in a world of your own, and that you really don't want to be sociable. It takes years of practice to master this technique.
Whoever thought of this first is a genius. Sure, girls frown at the idea of guys trying to do something crazy like you know, conquering the unconquerable (read: climbing Mount Everest). But the truth is, girls are into that kind of thing too. Only on a different level.
Fellow researcher Philip and I call this phenomenon, The Perez Pe Benito Pickle Jar. (Some guys at time management research thought they were witty when they used the Pickle Jar to name their theory as well, bastards) The idea of course is, to be the really hard-to-open-pickle-jar that you are. Don't open up, brood, brood, brood, scowl, scowl, scowl. A female will try to open you in no time.
It takes experience to learn the pickle jar craft, and some guys are naturally good at it, while some are not. Word of advice though, do not open so soon when some chick tries to open you. What you do is open a little, make her think she's doing it, then close again. Be the real you (an asshole). Then open up again. Boom, she's caught in the trap.
For guys who cannot master this technique, there's always technique number one, be filthy rich.
posted by Ban at 8:43 AM
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