Undersexed

I've just learned that pandas only have sex twice a year. Considering that I got it from a quote of a Chinese novelist, I'm not sure I want to believe it. And then, sex facts came rushing to my head. I remembered the thing about pigs' orgasms reaching up to 30 minutes. Now, that's quite long for a mind-numbing, toe-curling experience, I must say. On the other hand, it's a bit sad too, since besides humans, dolphins are the only mammals who are supposed to feel enjoyment during sex.

Another anecdote rushed to my head. It's an "elementary days" flashback. The teacher was saying something about the termite colony. (Why? I can't remember..) Thing was, the lesson learned for the day was that in the colony, the queen termite's only job, or more aptly put, reason for existence is to get knocked up and produce baby termites. Of course, since she cannot get knocked up by herself, she needs a "king termite," whose only purpose in life is to fuck her to the end of their days... Ah the joys of a simple life. Oh wait, as for the anecdote, the teacher asked the boys of the class who wants to be a "king termite" and a courageous boy raised his hand. He was known as King Termite ever since.

As for me, I'm not getting any... Ah, dolphins, termites, and other colony based insects have everything.

*interested "queen termites" can contact the author*